​ 









 

The NotSo​SoccerMom







   




 

​ThThe





 


 "I'm A Witch If She Were A Hooker"  10/20/14


                                                                                     




Halloween has become big business.     Weird, too, how most costumes for women these days have a real, shall we say, French Maid thing going on....

These were the only ones left at www.gratuitousexcusetodressup.com   Which one should I get????


Sexy Leper Colonist Costume-- $59.99  No one will cast you out with your "Open Sores" to adhere on face and body, fake "foam and froth" to spill from the mouth, Jesus-style rope sandals with spike heels and a rag dress (which is lowcut and short)


* Sexy Elementary School Janitor Costume-- $56.99  With your broom, toilet bowel brush, bucket of sawdust to throw over Little Timmy's puke and snazzy grey Janitor coveralls (which are lowcut and short), you'll "clean up" at the party.


Sexy Prisoner of War Costume-- $79.99  Ouch! Are those bamboo shoots under your nails? No matter, you'll look captivating with the ball chained to your ankle showcasing your voluptuous (lowcut and short) nondescript jumpsuit.  Water torture wet t-shirt accessory $15.00 extra  (plus shipping and handling)


Sexy Barbara Bush Costume-- $39.99  Black pumps, a white Mrs. Claus wig and a string of pearls perfectly accessorize this royal blue satin dress (which is lowcut and short). "Read My Lips" button included.


Sexy Rutabaga Costume--$42.99  Who's the Sexiest Root Vegetable at the party? You!  In this fabulous yellowy-gold dress (which is lowcut and short) accented with dirt-brown tassels for the leaves.  Yum!

Jill 
I didn't end up getting any of them because they didn't offer free shipping.   Plus, the party I'm going to is a 70's Theme.. So, I'm making my own costume, like the old days: Sexy Pet Rock!
-----this original essay was written 10/23/07--- #VisionaryJill